Personal Challenge

I decided today that I am going to challenge myself to be shopping-free for one month. This means I am only allowed to purchase food and gas. No trips to Target, no picking up a magazine at the grocery store, nada!
I really think I'm going to have a problem doing this but I want to try. I am very bad about grabbing little things because they are cute and only 99cents.
Wish me luck! This is going to be hard.

Joy

"Don't let anxiety steal your joy." This was a quote in a book I recieved shortly after becoming a mother. This was the quote that helped pull me out of my postpartum depression, well the quote and some zoloft (sorry Mr. Cruise but sometimes you just need some drugs.)
I still recite this quote to myself on a regular basis at times when the kids are fussy, I'm exhausted, and my husband is hours away from the end of his work day.
Motherhood has so many joyful moments but sadly it is very easy for us moms to get caught up in all the things we must do, or rather the things we never get done and then anxiety builds.
Playing in the backyard with the water hose and sunshine is what we did yesterday and I had to try as hard as I could to not think about the pile of laundry, floors that needed swept, and countless other things that I should be doing. Instead I got out the camera and celebrated the joy that comes with being a mommy in the spring time.
I think the hardest part for me in keeping my joy is when I am up all night (as I was last night) with a very fussy and sick child. I must admit that it is very very hard to find joy in that.
I'm not sure we can always win the battle against anxiety, but as long as I'm trying i am certain I will be in a better, more joyful place.

Joy is the weekly theme over at mamasaysom

currents

We are being pulled through and I can decide if I want to drop anchor right now and hold on or go with it. It's a choice that I have every day. To throw a fit over my current position or to find a blessing and be joyfully thankful in exactly where I am at, knowing that in an instant the currents could pull me along somewhere else. I was just in a discussion last Friday at my MOPS (mothers of preschoolers) group. Being content with exactly where you are. We talked about how to do it, and it's not easy. I think it's a different journey for everyone and I don't believe there is any simple 5 step plan to it.
I have to say that for the most part now I am content. I became content in the strangest place, my two bedroom, itty bitty, expensive, dog barking next-door, crowded apartment. It happened after living in a house, after we got rid of all our precious "stuff" that didn't fit. Lots of our friends were buying houses, it seemed almost everyone I knew was buying a house. We instead were spending more on our rent then they were on their mortgage.
So how did I become content? I'm not exactly sure I can put it down in words but I will try. Mostly it was lots of praying, and then one day I realized that I had exactly what I NEEDED. Not only that but anytime I NEEDED something I received it. Now, sure I wanted things and didn't get them all the time, but when I needed it I certainly had it.
I decided it was OK to have a tiny apartment because inside of it was peace and calm and it was filled with the people I loved.
It's so easy to say "I will be happy when I have X" but the truth is that we need to figure out how to be happy even if we never get X.
The funny thing that happened to us next was that a few short months after I became content and fully willing to live in that apartment forever we were transplanted out of the blue.
My husband was offered a new job, a new city, a new salary. In the span of a month we went from thinking we would spend 2 more years (at least) in an apartment to living in a 3 bedroom house with a great yard and even a gardening area! (also clean air, and it looks like a photograph!) I literally couldn't have come up with a place this good on my own.
The Lord without a doubt changed the currents of our life and I know he purposefully waited until I was content with little before he blessed us with more.

This is my thoughts from CURRENTS see what other mama's thought over HERE .

Static

Static is what you would find if you turned on my television. I do not have 950 channels of choices, but I do have one choice. I choose not to sit and stare. This one choice leaves me with a world of possibilities i could dance, sing, play, laugh, paint, imagine, read, explore, dream, the list never stops. I will admit that there was a time when I had to get my weekly update of Jim and Pam, Mike and Susan, Luke and Loralie, but now I have to tell you I just don't care. I dare you to stop watching for two weeks and see just how badly you want to go back. If you are like me you will forget it's on at all. I once had a cable man tell me that I was depriving my children by not subscribing. Depriving them of what? ADD? Future doses of Ritalin? Perhaps doses of blatant commercialism?

Give it up, turn it off, and find your life.

Written for the www.mamasaysom.com theme

Shoes

When she first put them on She looked up at me with far greater pride than when she wears any glass slipper. I see my mannerisms as she rolls her eyes or when she gets excited. Everything I do is mirrored back to me. I know that it is up to me to create a peaceful, loving, calm influence for her to mimic.

Big Bum

We have began using the cloth diapers and it really has been easier than I thought. Plus the covers are so darn cute! This one is my favorite. It's Cat In The Hat!

Night Night

I just had a conversation with you.

"Night Night time, just like your sister."
"No more milkies, Mama can't go night night."
" sister night night there,"
" froggy night night here, you night night here."
"Not mama, no milkie, night night. "

and you layed down

and sang
"nigh nigh nigh nigh"

"mama?"

"nigh nigh nigh nigh"
and played with your blanket
and went to sleep.

While I sat, unable to move
staring at a little boy
who last night was
my baby with a chin dripping milk.